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| Time: | 5:22 pm. |
| Mood: |  yay. | | Music: | frank sinatra. |
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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! so happy these days.bin out with tash everyday and i aint even with her! yet i feel so gd!!!!! i aint got much else to say apart from that frank sinatra and dean martin r kool. more ppl shud b like them and the world wud b a better place!!!
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| Time: | 9:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  makes a change for me. | | Music: | madness - baggy trousers. |
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wenty kick practice todaayy. got sum gd kicks in. 31/2 hours worth! gem came up n sed hello, which was nice but i cudnt concentrate on kickin so i lied down lol.goin town tomoro to get a new rugby shirt too :P life is gd at minute. gd shit has bin happenin to me. i guess the guy upstairs is finally lookin in to my case of shitness! ha ha! im so damn tired tho at the moment! i have turned to drinkin alot of aclohol tho and thats not gd for me! also bin listenin to "madness" all the time! they teh sexo! missin my dad at the moment tho. i think he's dead. i aint heard from him fo a while:( i just spent £100 on rugby stuff. i luv the sport too much i think. i want to marry the sport!! is that legal? im sure it is in america, everytins legal der! im bored of this now so imma hit the road.
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hard work doesn't pay. so dont assume that workin hard to get sumthin will work cos it dont. eva. cos no matter how hard u work at sumthin it will b thrown bak in ur face. sure... things go gd for a while and look like they mite work out but they wont. so realise it.
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
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| Subject: | blank |
| Time: | 5:32 pm. |
| Mood: |  depressed. | | Music: | david gray - otherside. |
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i cant explain how i feel today, just in one of them moods. i really like her, shes beautiful. wen im around her im happy and jokin around. she takes my mind off of skool and mates that ditch u for other. shes like an island in my stormy sea. she got real smooth hair, deep brown eyes and shes just perfectly pretty. so fucking gay! shyness and loserness are diseases!! i hate myself so much sumtimes!!!
hunny now if im honest
i still dont know what love is.
all my sorrow all my rage a tear drop falls on every page.
the ghosts are crawling on our skin, we may race, we may run, we'll not undo wat has been done.
the trick aint worth the time it buys, im sick of hearing my own lies
hunny now if im honest
i still dont know what love is
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| Time: | 9:01 pm. |
| Mood: | lonely. | | Music: | akon and alvin - lonely. |
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its me, aint messaged for a while. same tune as usual tho me n my mum are arguin. saw my dad other day and we had gd laffs. i love him lots. he has a beard.im tired. i feel like shootin sum ppl. luv this chipmunks song. "lonely, mr lonely,i have nobody for my own, im so lonely" sez it all about me really.
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Saturday, March 5th, 2005
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WAYNE DOWNER IS A GOD DAMN, MUTHA FUCKIN LEDGEND. read ur journals mate. and i only wrote that shit cos i was jealous. no hard feelins glad we mates now.
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Monday, February 28th, 2005
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wen im gone after the summer and ur in one of them sad moods and u got no1 to tlk to. listen to this song. cos its true. u kno it.
When you’re down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
I’ll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend.
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They’ll hurt you and desert you.
Well they’ll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don’t you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don’t you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you’ve got to do is call.
Lord, I’ll be there, yes I will.
You’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.
Ain’t it good to know you’ve got a friend.
Ain’t it good to know you’ve got a friend.
You’ve got a friend.
smile throo the rain and everythin will b gd.:)
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Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
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i dunno anymore. my mum keeps bein nice to me then she'll b really nasty n say sumthin that will make me feel guilty about leavin home in september. but i dont think she ever stops to think about the fact that i might b leavin home cos i dont like livin here. she seems to just not care anymore. i dont see any of my family really. in 24 hours i probably see about an hour of my family altogether.i miss my dad at the moment aswell. last time i saw him we was drivin down the motorway listenin to AC/DC back in black and singin along to it. hes the only person in the world that i feel i can b myself infront of. its goofy aswell cos hes leavin the navy this year so he'll b home all the time but im leavin this year so i still wont see him. sum nites i sit here and feel so alone. its like if u cud imagine a place thats always rainin and theres loads of ppl but none of them kno u or tlk to u, so u sit there in the corner alone.
im tryin,
im tryin,
to let u kno just how much u mean to me,
and after all the things we put each other throo,
and i wud drive on to the end with u,
and i feel like theres nuthin left to do,
but prove myself to u.
but this time,
i mean it,
unless u kno just how much u mean to me.
im gonna miss her most.makes me smile.makes me laff. makes me who i am.
just hopin it snows.
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:30 am. |
| Mood: |  blah. | | Music: | turn the page-metallica. |
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chris hill is gay! really gay!! also i got told by a girl that she wanted to shag me in a gym! crazy hoe if u ask me. england lost rugby again cos of charlie hodgson. wat a twat. i could have got those kicks throo! knobber! was valentines day yesterday. was crap again. no card. again. who made up frickin valentines day anyway? i read in the paper yesterday that roughly 14,000 ppl commit suicide on valentines day. 75% more than any other day. got nuthin to do today. gonna b bored. mite go bak to bed. i really really wanna see the spongebob squarepants movie!! really realy!! thats it really. oh yea. do this for me please:
What am i to you:
Am i special:
Did you ever teach me anything:
If you could give me one thing what would it be:
What is your fondest memory of me:
How well do you know me:
Do you have a nickname for me:
Do you talk about me with other people:
How do i make you feel:
What is the most extravagant thing you would do for me:
thanks. bye.x.
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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  fuckin angry. | | Music: | metallica- turn the page. |
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argh!!!! why do ppl always take the girls i like?! its not fuckin fair! im always nice as pie to ppl and it always gets shoved back in my face! i dont think thats fair especially wen its one of ur best mates thats always doin it. its kinda depressin aswell. listenin to ppl go on about ur mate. the 3 girls i eva properly liked have bin taken now. i think im gonna start bein nasty towards every1. fuck u all. im so fuckin angry right now. u have no fuckin idea how angry i am.
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Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
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gemmas boobs look so bouncy!!! every1 seen em apart from me.... I WANNA SEEE! imma die without see em. u have no idea how that feels!! bouncy, soft, comfy. all tlkin bout the boobs. won rugby today. played the whole game as full back. was gd game. 18-0 to us. surely i deserve the reward of seein the boobs of gemma for my outstandin performance. lol. maybe not. i offer her money but she says she cant take it anymore cos shes left that line of buisness. only jokin shes my person in the world apart my dog. and no, b4 u ask, i dont shag my dog. u dirty bastards. oh !!! sum fuckin gay boy has stole my ST. christopher, which was my dads! n sum1s nicked it! bastartds better hope i dont meet them. thats all.
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Monday, February 7th, 2005
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| Subject: | stuff |
| Time: | 5:54 pm. |
| Mood: |  gd old days.. | | Music: | johnny cash-hurt. |
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SUPERBOWL!!!! was last nite. stayed up till 3am watchin it. soooo tired today. was a great game. i was goin for phili eagles. i cant believe they lost!!!!! the patriots had a gd game plan tho. gay ass white boys! was awesome tho!!! england lost rugby on saturday..... to WALES!!! wales i tell u!! wtf is goin on in this crazy world!? i got a game on wednesday. gonna win. first time as a full back. imma b prayin to the gd man for sum luck. listenin to a real sad song right now. jonny cash- hurt. he and his wife was in the viseo and within six weeks after the video was made they were both dead. so sad. bin in a kinda nostalgic mood recently. gd old days. watched 100 greatest music videos last nite. hey ya was number 8 i think. they sed that its the best song for havin a gd time to. i kno i had gd times listenin to the song. gd times. gd times.
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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The game of life is hard to play
I'm Gonna to lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say
Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The sword of time will peirce our skin
It doesnt hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin
Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
A brave man once requested me
To answere questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And i replied oh why ask me
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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| Time: | 3:20 pm. |
| Mood: | just dunno today. | | Music: | alicia keys-fallin'. |
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accordin to gem edmonds has a hairy muff. but gem does!! i seen it!! true story! apart from seein gems. totally bored today nuthin to do. im tired aswell i watched apocalypse now until 1:30 am last nite and got up at 8:30 cos my bro let a party popper off in my face! gay boy. bin a borin weekend really. didnt go work yesterday. i foned in sick and went in town instead. gemma looks reeeal hot today. she sez she looks tired but it dont matter cos she still shines for me. sunsilk rules!!! hot dogs for lunch!i only got 29 weeks to go!! lookin forward to it but im not if that makes sense. im gonna miss ppl like gem. its gonna b hard but imma get throo it. ah well. i wanta hug today but im all alone. *sigh*. still bored. my mum n dad n bro have gone to see "meet the fockers". i wasnt invited.:( i guess they forgot. nothin else today
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:14 pm. |
| Mood: | freezin my ass off. | | Music: | u got a friend in me. |
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listenin to toy story song!! my fave song ever!!! makes me feel happy n warm inside!! gemmas sexy!! i got attacked by a suicide squirell today!! i picked an acorn up and it chased me for it so i threw the acorn at it!! i got away thank god cos anythin cud of happend!!! i got opticians tomoro mornin so i miss geography!! wooooo but no gemma to stare at. makes me sad. also i think jess wattlin is quite fit but keep it quiet! cud turn out for the worse for me as things usually do. my mum wont stop makin me feel guilty bout not doin my A levels. its pissin me off now and makin me want to leave even more. gay gay gay gay hmmmmm. saw my dad last nhite and he came to the army place with me to sign up the papers for me joinin the army!! so excited. um yes. just squirted deoderant in to my eyes by accident and then knocked over my book case cos i cudnt see. now i kno wot its like to b stevie wonder!!! oh yea and mrs edmonds my english teacher is petty!! she sent me out cos i picked my pen up off the floor and she didnt even have a reason for send in me out!! queer ass edmonds. im gonna shoot her!
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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:53 pm. |
| Mood: |  don't push me!!. | | Music: | salt n pepa-push it!!. |
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gemmas hair is wet and shes tired! im tired to! im tired of people tellin me i aint gonna makde the grade in september! yea? well fuck u all!! i kno i can do it and imma prove it to you all!! tuesday is the big day! i sign the papers to join in september. i aint bin well this week bin pukin up loads!! so gross! even my dog aint bin well!! all gemma does is dry her hurr! needs to get a hobby i think! i got my new i-pod today so im gonna showin that off in skool. thats all i got.
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Thursday, January 13th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:22 pm. |
| Mood: | dum de dum. | | Music: | ja rule-life aint a game. |
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was in skool today and i was starin at gem all throo geography. i thought she caught me starin but apparently not. it was close tho. she look so hot!! so hot that at lunch i went all shy n cudnt say anythin cos i went all shy. i aint gd at that stuff.lol. all i can say is that im lookin forward to leavin home. gem knows wot im tlkin bout ;) jason hamliton cox is a knobbe. and is an immigrant terrorist. thats all i got to say
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Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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| Time: | 8:44 pm. |
| Mood: | depressed. | | Music: | counting crows- round here. |
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apparently i "can be really mean and not even kno that i am" according to tash. fucked again. enuff sed.
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Friday, December 31st, 2004
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| Time: | 1:55 pm. |
| Mood: | dunno. | | Music: | red hot chili peppers-dont forget me. |
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bin at work this mornin and im goin to my mates party tonite. im gonna die from tiredness!! went out last nite hopin that tash wud b out but she wasnt. so i was bored really. its like a whole new gemma! i think bout tash as soon as a i wake up and all throo the day and b4 i go to bed!! i like her so much. but even now i dont fancy gem (that much ;)) yet i still think bout her everyday.lol. its weird. but i dont think of her in a dirty way lol its just i see things or hear things that remind me of her. like outkast - hey ya. i always think of her wen i hear that song. the only ppl i seem to think about is my dad tash and gem. lol. its gay. thats all i can say bout the matter. i had to say it tho. i still stick up for gem tho wen they all tlk bout her boobs! ha ha. anyways thats all i got to say lol. not very interestin. IM STILL WAITIN FOR THAT PHOTO BOOTH PIC GEM!!! dont forget bout it!! just dont forget me cos i wont ever forget u. u better be at my funeral! lol
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Monday, December 20th, 2004
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watchin white men cant jump right now ans wesley snipes is the smoothest mutha fucka i eva did see! bin chattin to gem this afternoon she was on cam aswell.lol. i mean i dotn fancy her no more but she is the prettiest girl i eva knew and its gonna kill me no bein able to tlk to her wen i leave home. i better get one of dem photos gem! lol. anyway im missin the film.
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maverick1989200's journal
its the song that does it..